Many couples find themselves in long-term relationships that are highly intimate, but terribly unsatisfying in the bedroom. When a woman says that she is not sexually satisfied, listen to her.
She likely means it. Here are some of the common reasons why she may feel this way. Sexual preferences and needs are very personal and unique to each person.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy is a foundation of any healthy relationship. It involves a feeling of closeness, trust, honesty, understanding and physical contact. This can include touching, kissing, holding hands and sex. A lack of intimacy can lead to many problems in a relationship including sexual dissatisfaction.
Often times, the reason for this is due to a lack of communication or unrealistic expectations. It can also be caused by a past negative experience with sex or an unhealthy mindset around the relationship. For example, a person may think that they should have a certain number of orgasms a week and get upset when they don’t meet those expectations. This can also be a sign of low self-esteem or depression.
People who aren’t satisfied with sex can be very difficult to talk to about it. They can feel shame or fear of being judged by their partner and avoid communicating the issue. The best way to address sexual dissatisfaction is to openly discuss it with your partner and listen to their perspective.
If you’re struggling to talk about sex with your partner, consider seeing a sex therapist or a couples counselor who specializes in relationships. They can help you work through the problem and find a solution that’s right for your relationship. They can also provide insight into how the problem came about in the first place and suggest ways to avoid it in the future.
Lack of Experience
If you and your partner have differing sexual interests, it can be difficult to sync up with each other when it comes to sex. You might find yourself constantly saying things like, “I’m not in the mood” or, “maybe later.” This is a common problem that many couples experience and it can lead to frustration for both partners.
It is important to remember that just because your partner has a lower libido, it doesn’t mean they love you any less. If you want to be happy in your relationship, it is essential that you talk to your partner about this issue and find a way to work around it.
This may include trying different activities that are a little out of your comfort zone or learning how to communicate more sensitively about these topics. It might also be worth looking into sex therapy to help you and your partner understand each other’s needs better.
Oftentimes, sexual desire discrepancy can be a symptom of underlying mental health issues such as depression. This is something that should be addressed by a therapist to ensure you get the best possible treatment. It is essential to note that if you are experiencing depression, the medication you take can also affect your libido. This can be frustrating for couples but it is vital that you address the issue early on.
Unrealistic expectations can be one of the biggest relationships destroyers. Expecting your partner to bend to every whim you have, while also having your own is unrealistic and not fair for either of you. When your desires differ from your partners, it can lead to frustration, anger and resentment which can quickly spiral out of control.
For example, if you have a high libido and your partner has low libido it can feel like they are ignoring your needs or lack interest in sex. It can be difficult to understand their perspective, but the fact is that they may just not have the same level of desire that you do. It is important to talk about sexual expectations and explore how you can compromise to meet both of your needs.
Having different sexual tastes and needs is not uncommon. Many people experience this as they age or when their sex lives have been stagnant for years. It is important to discuss how you can find ways to rekindle excitement and passion in the bedroom.
If you have a perpetual problem in your relationship, exploring it together and finding solutions that satisfy both of your needs is the best way forward. Communication is key in all relationships, but especially in the ones that involve sex. If you have issues with sexual satisfaction in your relationship, seeking help and guidance from a professional sex therapist is a good place to start.
Whether it’s in the bedroom or outside of it, open communication is key to being sexually satisfied. If you’re finding yourself withholding sex from your partner or constantly blaming them for something that went wrong, then it may be time to talk it out, says certified sex therapist and author of Playtime: A Guide to Sexual Conquests for Women Amanda Pasciucco.
Another sign of sexual unsatisfaction is if you find yourself masturbating more than usual, warns sex and relationship coach Rachel Needle. It’s normal for fantasy to play a role in your sex life, but if you’re constantly fantasizing about someone else, then that’s a sign you’re not feeling completely satisfied with your current sexual partner.
Clear and concise communication is also a key factor in being sexually satisfied, but it can be difficult to do at times. This can include verbal communication, as well as body language, notes sex and relationship coach Eric Marlowe Garrison.
It’s important for couples to be able to discuss their sexual desires, needs and boundaries in an honest manner. Otherwise, problems can arise that will make sex less enjoyable and lead to resentment. “I’ve worked with many couples who have had difficulty communicating about their sex needs, especially early on in the relationship,” says Garrison. “If you don’t communicate your expectations and wants early on, then it can lead to a lot of problems down the road.” For more tips on better communication, check out this video.