Having sexual thoughts is normal, but giving in to them leads to sinful acts like pornography and masturbation. Learn how to control your sexual desires while single by putting into place strategies that will protect you from temptation.
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Know Your Triggers
When sexual urges are strong, it is important to identify what triggers them. This will help you to avoid them in the future. You can do this by analyzing your behavior and noticing when you feel the strongest temptation. It may be a certain time of day, or a specific environment. Once you have identified what triggers your sexual impulses, you can work to change the environment or avoid it. For example, if you find that you are most aroused by steamy love scenes in movies, it is probably best to find other kinds of entertainment until you can get control of your sexual impulses.
Keeping yourself busy is also a great way to distract yourself from sexual temptation. This can be done through hobbies, exercise, or community programs. Having a purpose will keep your mind off of sex and allow you to focus on something productive and fulfilling.
Finally, if you are feeling particularly weak during a sexual temptation, try talking about it with someone. This will not only provide you with encouragement, but it will also keep you accountable to your convictions. Hiding and covering up your struggles will not help you, and in fact, they can lead to deeper issues down the road.
If you are struggling to keep your libido in check, seek out the help of a psychosexual and relationship therapist. They will be able to help you understand the underlying reasons that you have a high sex drive and teach you how to manage those drives in a healthy way.
Set Boundaries
When sexual urges are strong, you need to be ready to set boundaries. This means understanding and communicating your needs, both to yourself and to anyone who may enter into a relationship with you.
For example, if you are easily aroused by steamy love scenes in movies or by a certain type of music, consider altering your environment or changing the way you consume these triggers. This can be as simple as not watching romantic movies in your home or playing different types of music on the radio.
It is also important to understand that sexual desire often isn’t about sex. Most of the time, our bodies are simply using sex as a way to meet underlying emotional or physical needs. Often, once those needs are met, the desire disappears. If you want to better understand what is driving your sexual desires, it is beneficial to talk through them with a counselor or trusted friend.
You can also find healthy distractions to keep you from giving into temptation. One way is to keep a list of tasks or errands to complete in your pocket or purse so you can look at it in case you feel the compulsion to engage in compulsive behavior. You can also read a book or work on a hobby, such as knitting.
Stay Socially Active
If you have a hard time controlling your libido, consider focusing on other things that help keep you busy. Staying socially active in a positive environment can help distract you from sexual thoughts and urges. This could be anything from spending time with friends to volunteering for a community organization. It may also be helpful to find a new hobby that helps keep your mind and body occupied.
Another important thing to keep in mind is that healthy sexual desires are 100% normal, but can quickly turn sinful when you allow them to control you. It’s important to learn how to manage these desires so that you can be free to enjoy them with your future spouse.
If you’re finding yourself in an environment that triggers lust, try to change your surroundings as soon as possible. For example, if you know you’re likely to think about sex at work or during your commute home, try leaving early or adjusting your schedule to avoid these triggers. You can also try using filters on your computers and phones to block pornography or other triggering content. If you have a hard time controlling your urges to masturbate, try keeping yourself busy by doing chores or taking on a new project that requires your full attention. You can also try a spiritual practice, like Dhikr and Istighfaar (remembrance and forgiveness). These are ways to redirect your sexual energy into something productive, instead of focusing on pleasure.
Keep a To-Do List
When sexual urges are strong, it may help to have a list of chores, tasks or errands to complete. This could be as simple as writing down a list of things you need to do, or it could be something more involved like a project for work. This will allow you to keep your mind busy, and it can be a great way to feel productive. Having something to do will also make it much harder to engage in compulsive behavior.
If you find that your sexual urges are causing problems in your relationships, then it is important to talk to your friends or family members about it. They can support you and encourage you to stay pure until marriage. They can also help you figure out what is triggering your urges and how to deal with them in the future.
If you are having trouble controlling your sexual impulses, then it may be worth seeking professional help. There are many options for doing this, including therapy and medications that can decrease libido. It is also possible that there are other issues that are causing your high libido, such as depression or other health conditions. You may be able to reduce or change your medications to help with this. Alternatively, you can also try to channel your energy into something more fulfilling and absorbing, such as physical exercise, spiritual pursuits or even DIY projects.
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