There’s a lot to think about when you’re having sex for the first time with someone experienced. You may be worried about if they’ll respect your body, how much protection you need and more.
It’s also likely that you’ll have high expectations for the experience. If these don’t come true, it’s not a big deal.
1. Don’t expect it to be perfect
There are many things that can go wrong in sex. It might not be what you imagined, it might not feel as good as you hoped, and it’s okay if that happens.
Being nervous before sex is normal, but it’s important not to confuse this with not being ready for it. It’s also a good idea to talk with your partner about what you both want from sex and how you feel about it. This can help you to avoid any surprises, and it’s also a great way to build trust and connection.
One thing that people often worry about is not being able to orgasm. Orgasms happen when we are very aroused and they release a lot of sexual pressure in a pleasurable rush. There are lots of things that can make orgasms more likely, like being relaxed, having plenty of foreplay, and talking about it. But, it’s also okay if you and your partner don’t orgasm at all.
If you and your partner don’t find sex exciting or fun, it might not be the right time to have it. You might want to try again in the future, but it’s okay to decide that you’re not ready for sex. And remember, you can change your mind at any time! If you’re thinking about having sex for the first time, it’s a good idea to have a condom handy (and to use it) so that you can protect yourself against sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.
2. Don’t rush it
Having sex for the first time is a big deal, and it’s not something to rush into. Whether you’re a virgin or not, it’s important to take things slow and make sure that your partner is ready to go. Many people find that it’s a good idea to wait until after the honeymoon phase of a relationship, which usually ends about three months in.
It’s also a good idea to talk about it before you start, so that both of you have an idea of what to expect. You may want to try different things, and you’ll have a chance to ask questions. It’s okay to have a lot of fun while you’re doing it, but it’s even better to be safe and healthy.
If you’re a virgin, you may be worried about having penetrative sex for the first time. However, you should know that as long as you go slowly and gently, it won’t be painful or uncomfortable at all. In fact, it’s usually quite exciting.
You should also keep in mind that, if you do decide to go ahead and have sex, you’ll need a condom or other barrier method. These will stop sperm from reaching an egg and can protect you against pregnancy and STIs. You’ll also need lubricant, which will help to make it more comfortable.
3. Ask for what you need
If you’re dating someone who has experience, it can be hard to bring up what you need in bed. You might be worried they’ll think less of you or that they won’t respect your boundaries.
But it’s important to talk about what you need with your partner before you get intimate. Talk about what turns you on, what doesn’t, and how you like to be touched. You don’t need to divulge your deepest sexual fantasies if you don’t want to, but it helps to communicate clearly about what you want from each other.
Having this conversation may feel awkward, but it’s important for you and your partner to be on the same page about what you both want from each other. You can also ask your partner if there are any experiences they haven’t tried that you would be interested in, but don’t take it personally if they decline.
And finally, be sure to tell him what kind of birth control you use and if there’s anything else that you need to protect yourself with. This is a good conversation to have whether you’re with a long term partner or just looking for a one night stand. It will help to keep you safe and make sure that you don’t have any regrets later on.
4. Be honest
It’s important to be honest with your partner about what you want from sex and how you feel about it. It’s also important to be clear about what you are able to offer, whether that be oral sex or just penetrating your vaginal opening. If your partner wants to go further then that’s fine, but if you are uncomfortable for any reason then let them know. Continuing to do things that make you uncomfortable is not respectful and could lead to problems in the future.
Talking about sexual experience is a big part of being open in a relationship, but it can be difficult. Some people prefer to keep their sexual history private and don’t want to share it with their partners, which is completely understandable. However, if you do want to be open about your sexual history then it’s important that you do so in a way that your partner feels comfortable.
It’s also important to remember that your first time can still be clunky, awkward or even painful – that’s completely normal! It’s also worth remembering that you can still get a sexually transmitted infection or pregnancy from it, so it’s always good to have contraception sorted just in case.